I have a love-hate relationship with cny. Love because it's my favourite holiday, I mean who doesn't like receiving red packets and eating steamboats with family? And hate because, well, it's the period I always feel the loneliest. I know I know, it's cause I'm in a foreign country, it's cause I don't have family(except my sis of course) or relatives over here..I still can't stop myself from feeling the same way every year even though it's been like 12 years. I should just be glad that at least I have my sister, I can't imagine those people who are going through this kind of holiday all alone. Though cny won't be as lively as before we came Singapore, before everything started crumbling down 10 years ago..just for once, I want to spend it back home. I don't care if I'll be working by then, I will make sure of it after I graduate.
I miss you Dad, where ever you are right now. Even though I always hate you a little more every time I go back home and visit Mom, every time I hear and know how she has suffered so much because of you, every time I see how other girls can be their Daddy's little girl but I can't be..I always regret not spending more time with you when I had the chance, I always feel sorry for taking granted of the times I spent with you when you were around. I'm also so sorry for whatever happened in the hospital at the last minute before you left. I always blame myself for that, and I think Sis does too deep down inside her heart. If only we can all go back in time back to when we were all still happy.
I miss you too Mom, even though you're just a phone call away or 3 hours plane ride away. I don't know how sis or I can ever repay you for going through so much for us. I'm always very grateful that you are my mom. I know I can't be Daddy's little girl, but I'll always be your little girl.