I miss you. When was the last time I saw your smile? I can't even remember. I miss Mom. I miss home. I miss the past. I miss having a complete family around me. I miss everything. That's why everytime I go back home, I always look for the old photo albums just to look through the photos to remind myself how we were, how life was.
As I grow older, the more I get to know about things, the more thoughts run through my head. What if Sis and I never came to SG? Would we lose you the same? Would we be losing so much like now? Would the situation be better? Or worse? Would you be for once, miracurously, gradually be supportive of Mom instead? Would all of us be happier? Do you regret about what you have done and not done in the past? Do you know what Mom has been going through? Do you feel hurt for putting her through all these? The questions might not end. You know, I might sound unappreciative or spoiled but honestly, if I am given a choice, I just want to leave everything here in SG and pack up to go back home now. The only family I have here is Sis, we only have each other and nobody else. It really gets lonely inside sometimes. I'm tired of knowing that no matter how long we've stayed in SG, we don't exactly have a home here. It's like I have a hole in my heart that can't seem to heal.
Loves, your daughter.