Crashed & burnt

Fucking disappointed with myself. Too much till I really don't know what to say anymore. Fuck I can't carry on like this day by day, no I swear it won't continue like this. Cause I don't want to fail myself or others anymore. But I'm scared and I really don't want to be the old me again in the past where I don't care.
I'm sorry I'm a letdown yet again. I'm really sorry.

Y'know you didn't have to lie about that. Because results show everything. I already felt upset enough for myself, and yet on top of that I had to feel betrayed by you. And you don't know how it feels like to be told one thing yet in reality its the opposite because well obviously I didn't fucking do that to you. I don't even know if I can trust you anymore, maybe people will tell me that this is only a minor thing but I've been thinking alot and I realised yeah all the puzzle pieces in the past fit together now.