Today was a super long day of school, with a bad start of the day after seeing the "report card", the confusion during the Econs lesson, shitty Physics lab period with boring experiment and bitchy LCY not marking me and Mich's attendence for GP extra lecture just cause we went to the toilet before we went to the lecture. Everything else was fine, talked, nah make that stated facts ahem alot during Econs break, laughed alot alot alot during the Chinese "break", understood Maths for both lecture and tutorial. Never ever in my whole life have I gotten such lousy results and cried in school. (Thanks Bird and Jared for cheering me up.) I thought I could take it, I thought I could just continue to pretend that I didnt care. I know its only mid years, there's still more exams like Promos to come but I know I cant continue to give myself anymore excuses. Especially after I sensed the disappointment from my mom's voice though she was still being supportive. I feel so so much more guilty. The scary thought of getting retained is haunting me. I dont want to get retained. That'll really be the worst thing that ever happens to me. I 'm so scared that after today, I'll just completely forget about the guilt, the sadness after seeing those results and just get back to the old ways. I rather not, I rather feel what I'm feeling now all the way till the end of Promos to remind myself. I'm exhausted. Not forgetting to mention the fact that I screwed my Orals yesterday.